Wish you were here.
Choosing not to act on an angry impulse and to feel the pain that lies beneath is a very courageous thing to do.
When you see something beautiful in someone, tell them. It may take a second to say, but for them it could last a lifetime.
You’re not a victim for sharing your story; you are a survivor for…
Be the reason others believe that there is goodness in people.
From Gavin DeGraw, Soldier. You can find it on YouTube here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OfHUBcevBn0
“Soldier”
La da da da da da, la da da da da [x2]
Where did all the people go?
They got scared when the lights went low.
I’ll get you through it nice and slow,
When the world’s spinning out of control.
Afraid of what they might lose
Might get scraped or they might get bruised.
You could beg them, what’s the use?
That’s why it’s called a moment of truth
I’ll get it if you need it,
I’ll search if you don’t see it,
You’re thirsty, I’ll be rain,
You get hurt, I’ll take your pain.
I know you don’t believe it,
But I said it and I still mean it,
When you heard what I told you,
When you get worried I’ll be your soldier.
Funny when times get hard,
At the last moment when you’re supposed to charge,
Always on the longest yard,
Oh, they feel their feet getting cold.
Hiding here, hiding there,
Find them underneath the stairs,
People hiding everywhere,
Trying to be still like a stone.
I’ll get it if you need it,
I’ll search if you can’t see it,
You’re thirsty, I’ll be rain,
You get hurt, I’ll take your pain.
I know you don’t believe it,
But I said it and I still mean it,
When you heard what I told you,
When you get worried I’ll be your soldier.
My aim is so true,
I wanna show you,
I’ll try forever,
I’m never gonna say “surrender”.
I’ll get it if you need it,
I’ll search if you can’t see it,
You’re thirsty, I’ll be rain,
You get hurt, I’ll take your pain.
I know you don’t believe it,
But I said it and I still mean it,
When you heard what I told you,
When you get worried I’ll be your soldier.
I’ll be your soldier
Well I’ll be, oh I’ll be your soldier
I’ll be your soldier
I’ll be your soldier
La ra la ra ra ra, la ra la ra ra [x2]
When I couldn’t sleep in the middle of last night, I spent a foolish amount of time scrolling through some of the posts on the various grief groups on Facebook.
One comment, which seems to be said every now and then, really struck me.
“I wish I had died first, so I wouldn’t feel this horrible pain.”
I don’t understand how someone can say or believe such a thing… it is the exact opposite of how I feel. If I had died first, that would have left John feeling what I’m feeling. And I would never have wished this screaming hurt, this longing, confusion, fear and anxiety… this emptiness… on him.
I loved him too much for that.
*****************************
For more information about The Grief Warrior Project – soon to be a drop-in and counseling center for those affected by suicide and/or suicidal thoughts, please click on the picture or link, or go to https://warrior-project.org.
The Grief Warrior Project is in the process of becoming a warm, welcoming drop-in center for those living with extreme emotional and/or physical pain coupled with hopelessness, and a resource for families and friends fearing for the life of, or grieving the loss of, the person they love so much.
We are accepting blogs and articles written on topics relevant to suicide, hopelessness, grief, and similar topics. Please contact Linda at LSnyder@regroupbiz.com or warriorprojectmaine@gmail.com.
*************************************
In memory of my beloved husband John Kelly Snyder… 20 Sept 1956 – 21 Oct 2016.
My Johnny was a true warrior, fighting demons no one else could see. I thought he was the strongest man in the world, and perhaps he was, but tragically, the demons got the better of him.
The name of this project is in no way intended to be reflective of, or piggy back off, Wounded Warriors which serves those military personnel wounded after September 11, 20o1. Like too many others, John was a warrior long before then.
Fair winds and following seas, Husband.
**************************************
We now have a group on Facebook to help find resources, support and ideas for getting The Warrior Project off the ground. You can find us there at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thewarriorproject/
Follow us on Twitter! @WarriorProjME.
We’re also on MeetUp; search Lewiston Grief Support MeetUp.
**************************************
The Warrior Project is NOT an emergency program or service.
In the event of a crisis, please call 911
In the United States, other numbers to call include:
Maine Crisis Hotline:
1-888-568-1112
National Suicide Prevention Hotline:
800-273-8255
Veterans Suicide Hotline:
800-273-8255
Domestic Violence Hotline:
800-799-7233
*******************************
John and I owned both a small antiques shop and a used bookstore in Lewiston, Maine. After John died, I didn’t know what I wanted to do with the two shops – they take up a huge amount of time, and weren’t yet covering their own costs. After John died in October of 2016, the shops were barely open during the critical holiday sales season; I couldn’t stand being in them because we had such dreams for the future.
But Johnny loved his little bookstore (Heritage Books, Maps & Ephemera) and the goal was that he would one day “retire” into running the two shops. So I’ve committed to keeping them open, although Heritage Collectibles is now Heritage Collectibles, Books & Maps as I’ve combined those two businesses. However, they’ve been downsized considerably as I’ve reduced the floor space at 189 Main Street by half, and relocated inventory to other shops, to reduce my workload.
All of the profits from those two businesses (after expenses, of course!) will go to support The Warrior Project. If you are so inclined, please consider checking out our little store or buying from our booths at the shops listed below, knowing that your purchase will help fund this critically needed suicide prevention drop in center.
Locations:
189B Main Street, Lewiston ME. (Entrance through the back of the building, off Park Street.)
As of Thanksgiving of 2017, Heritage Collectibles has closed its 189 Main Street storefront, and is in the process of moving most of the antique & furniture inventory to other shops (see below). We are keeping what had previously been the furniture gallery section of the shop, however and will use that to house Heritage Collectibles, Books & Maps…. it will primarily offer books, maps, records & ephemera. We’d love it if you would follow our blogs! (Our Heritage Books & Maps blog isn’t presently as active as the Heritage Collectibles one.)
https://heritagecollectiblesmaine.com & https://heritagebooksandmaps.com
This will also be the location of The Grief Warrior support groups and eventual drop in center.
Our other locations:
Oxford – The Undercover Antique Mall, 960 Main Street. (207) 539-4149.
We have some great, less expensive inventory for you to check out at the Undercover Antique Mall, seven days a week from 9:00 am – 5:00 pm! We’re in booth #56.
Scarborough – The Southern Maine Indoor Flea Market, 578 U S Route 1. (207) 229-4263. Looking for cookbooks and kitchen-related items? Check out our small space (#99) at the Southern Maine Indoor Flea Market, seven days a week from 9:00 am – 5:00 pm!
Waterville – Hathaway Mill Antique Mall, 10 Water St. (207) 877-0250
We now have a space (Booth #23) in the brand spanking new Hathaway Mill Antique Mall! Here you’ll find only items produced in or before 1965.
Westbrook – The Den of Antiquities, 1399 Bridgton Rd. (207) 650-3007.
Just ask for us by name, or by booth 56! The Den of Antiquities is a wonderful antique shop with loads of great items, including our own! Please come check us out, Tuesdays through Sundays, 9:00 am – 5:00 pm.
As some may know, Johnny and I owned an antiques shop called Heritage Collectibles (https://heritagecollectiblesmaine.com). We also had a small used book store called Heritage Books, Maps & Ephemera, that John had spent many happy hours pulling together, completing it just before he suicided.
I’ve spent the past 14 and a half months trying to decide what I wanted to do with the shops, eventually coming to the conclusion that there was no way I could keep them going while also working at my very demanding social work job.
And of course, there’s The Grief Warrior Project – a suicide prevention drop-in center I’m developing that also includes support groups & other services for family members grieving the loss of someone they loved to the horrors of suicide.
Over the past several months, I – with the help of some wonderful friends – have made some significant changes in Heritage Collectibles, and Heritage Books & Maps.
Most of the inventory except for the books, maps, ephemera and music-related items has been relocated to other antiques shops & flea markets.
Heritage Books, Maps & Ephemera has moved to what was once the furniture gallery of our antiques shop, and offers both a classroom and a small conference room for support groups and other meetings. We are only open limited hours at this time… Saturdays from 10-4, and by appointment. (The entrance is in back of the building at 189 Main Street; just turn onto Park Street and enter through the door you’ll find at the building’s rear.)
All of our profits, after expenses of course, will go to supporting The Grief Warrior Project.
For that reason, I’ll be posting some of our inventory on our Facebook page, in the event that members would like to help support the Project.
Thank you so much for your good thoughts and kindness… and please feel free to invite others to join this group, or to post your own comments and ideas, write blogs for this website, or whatever else you may find the urge to do.
Linda
*****************************
For more information about The Grief Warrior Project – soon to be a drop-in and counseling center for those affected by suicide and/or suicidal thoughts, please click on the picture or link, or go to https://warrior-project.org.
The Grief Warrior Project is in the process of becoming a warm, welcoming drop-in center for those living with extreme emotional and/or physical pain coupled with hopelessness, and a resource for families and friends fearing for the life of, or grieving the loss of, the person they love so much.
We are accepting blogs and articles written on topics relevant to suicide, hopelessness, grief, and similar topics. Please contact Linda at LSnyder@regroupbiz.com or warriorprojectmaine@gmail.com.
*************************************
In memory of my beloved husband John Kelly Snyder… 20 Sept 1956 – 21 Oct 2016.
My Johnny was a true warrior, fighting demons no one else could see. I thought he was the strongest man in the world, and perhaps he was, but tragically, the demons got the better of him.
The name of this project is in no way intended to be reflective of, or piggy back off, Wounded Warriors which serves those military personnel wounded after September 11, 20o1. Like too many others, John was a warrior long before then.
Fair winds and following seas, Husband.
**************************************
We now have a group on Facebook to help find resources, support and ideas for getting The Warrior Project off the ground. You can find us there at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thewarriorproject/
Follow us on Twitter! @WarriorProjME.
We’re also on MeetUp; search Lewiston Grief Support MeetUp.
**************************************
The Warrior Project is NOT an emergency program or service.
In the event of a crisis, please call 911
In the United States, other numbers to call include:
Maine Crisis Hotline:
1-888-568-1112
National Suicide Prevention Hotline:
800-273-8255
Veterans Suicide Hotline:
800-273-8255
Domestic Violence Hotline:
800-799-7233
*******************************
John and I owned both a small antiques shop and a used bookstore in Lewiston, Maine. After John died, I didn’t know what I wanted to do with the two shops – they take up a huge amount of time, and weren’t yet covering their own costs. After John died in October of 2016, the shops were barely open during the critical holiday sales season; I couldn’t stand being in them because we had such dreams for the future.
But Johnny loved his little bookstore (Heritage Books, Maps & Ephemera) and the goal was that he would one day “retire” into running the two shops. So I’ve committed to keeping them open, although Heritage Collectibles is now Heritage Collectibles, Books & Maps as I’ve combined those two businesses. However, they’ve been downsized considerably as I’ve reduced the floor space at 189 Main Street by half, and relocated inventory to other shops, to reduce my workload.
All of the profits from those two businesses (after expenses, of course!) will go to support The Warrior Project. If you are so inclined, please consider checking out our little store or buying from our booths at the shops listed below, knowing that your purchase will help fund this critically needed suicide prevention drop in center.
Locations:
189B Main Street, Lewiston ME. (Entrance through the back of the building, off Park Street.)
As of Thanksgiving of 2017, Heritage Collectibles has closed its 189 Main Street storefront, and is in the process of moving most of the antique & furniture inventory to other shops (see below). We are keeping what had previously been the furniture gallery section of the shop, however and will use that to house Heritage Collectibles, Books & Maps…. it will primarily offer books, maps, records & ephemera. We’d love it if you would follow our blogs! (Our Heritage Books & Maps blog isn’t presently as active as the Heritage Collectibles one.)
https://heritagecollectiblesmaine.com & https://heritagebooksandmaps.com
This will also be the location of The Grief Warrior support groups and eventual drop in center.
Our other locations:
Oxford – The Undercover Antique Mall, 960 Main Street. (207) 539-4149.
We have some great, less expensive inventory for you to check out at the Undercover Antique Mall, seven days a week from 9:00 am – 5:00 pm! We’re in booth #56.
Scarborough – The Southern Maine Indoor Flea Market, 578 U S Route 1. (207) 229-4263. Looking for cookbooks and kitchen-related items? Check out our small space (#99) at the Southern Maine Indoor Flea Market, seven days a week from 9:00 am – 5:00 pm!
Waterville – Hathaway Mill Antique Mall, 10 Water St. (207) 877-0250
We now have a space (Booth #23) in the brand spanking new Hathaway Mill Antique Mall! Here you’ll find only items produced in or before 1965.
Westbrook – The Den of Antiquities, 1399 Bridgton Rd. (207) 650-3007.
Just ask for us by name, or by booth 56! The Den of Antiquities is a wonderful antique shop with loads of great items, including our own! Please come check us out, Tuesdays through Sundays, 9:00 am – 5:00 pm.
It never fails to amaze me how so many women (and some men) fall for scammers. Whether it’s an elderly person who gets a call from an unknown person saying his grandson is in jail and needs bail money (sometimes the caller even pretends to be the grandson), or a middle-aged woman being told that if she doesn’t use a credit card right now to pay past due income taxes that a sheriff will come to her home within the next hour to take her to jail (another jail threat); or a real estate rental scam; or of course the well-known Nigerian scams… it blows my mind that anyone would fall for this stuff.
Unfortunately a big one is the so-called “sweetheart scam”, which preys on lonely widows and widowers, and sometimes bilking them out of lots of money.
I’ve taught classes on the various scams, and have a blog that addresses them as well. Most of the attempted scams we encountered were either because of my husband’s property management company, or our antique shop.
I kept one guy going for weeks. (Here’s the blog on that one:
https://storiesofentitlement.wordpress.com/2016/08/05/danger-will-robinson-a-repost-from-our-heritage-collectibles-blog/)
The scammer texted me saying he wanted to purchase a $250 item from my antique shop but was going to send me a check for $1750 (which he did), and that the extra money was for me to pay “his crew” who would come pick it up. Of course, depositing that “check”, which I knew was fraudulent – and my bank agreed – would have minimally cost me a bounced check fee… and could have been worse.
He would text and ask, “Have you deposited the check yet?” and I’d respond with a pissy attitude such as, “I told you I was busy; I’ll get to it when I can” or “Not until your bank verifies the funds; I’m here at my bank right now if you will just have your bank call mine”.
Finally I got bored with it all. And stopped responding to him. (Every one of his texts and mine are in my blog, so people can see how I played him.)
The sweetheart scam has to be among the worst. I’ve known several people who have fallen for them, sometimes even to the point of flying out to meet the guy. One person says she barely escaped after he kept her locked in a hotel room. Another lost a lot of money.
The hallmarks of a sweetheart scam are as follows:
1) The guy comes on too fast, professing his love almost immediately… often with poor English and absurdly flowery phrases.
2) He pushes his victim into professing her love too quickly, as well.
3) He says he’s either out of the country for his job, working on an oil rig, or wanting to leave his country where there’s the constant threat of being killed.
4) Soon he starts asking for money, because he can’t cash his paycheck (he’s on an oil rig), or he because he needs the money to help a sick child or family member, or whatever.
5) If you don’t send the money right away, he ups the ante with “You don’t really love me” or “I need it so we can be together forever”.
Please, please, please don’t fall for this stuff. Widows and widowers are frequent targets because we’re often lonely and devastated by our loss.
Please be aware that you are NOT the only person this scammer is playing. It’s his full-time “job”… if he’s scamming you, then he’s also working another mark. Probably a dozen or more.
If it seems too good to be true; if someone comes on too fast, too soon; if you have to question whether it’s for real or not… THINK ABOUT IT! Better yet, don’t think. Just immediately block, delete, whatever you have to do. And don’t look back.
*****************************
For more information about The Grief Warrior Project – soon to be a drop-in and counseling center for those affected by suicide and/or suicidal thoughts, please click on the picture or link, or go to https://warrior-project.org.
The Grief Warrior Project is in the process of becoming a warm, welcoming drop-in center for those living with extreme emotional and/or physical pain coupled with hopelessness, and a resource for families and friends fearing for the life of, or grieving the loss of, the person they love so much.
We are accepting blogs and articles written on topics relevant to suicide, hopelessness, grief, and similar topics. Please contact Linda at LSnyder@regroupbiz.com or warriorprojectmaine@gmail.com.
*************************************
In memory of my beloved husband John Kelly Snyder… 20 Sept 1956 – 21 Oct 2016.
My Johnny was a true warrior, fighting demons no one else could see. I thought he was the strongest man in the world, and perhaps he was, but tragically, the demons got the better of him.
The name of this project is in no way intended to be reflective of, or piggy back off, Wounded Warriors which serves those military personnel wounded after September 11, 20o1. Like too many others, John was a warrior long before then.
Fair winds and following seas, Husband.
**************************************
We now have a group on Facebook to help find resources, support and ideas for getting The Warrior Project off the ground. You can find us there at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thewarriorproject/
Follow us on Twitter! @WarriorProjME.
We’re also on MeetUp; search Lewiston Grief Support MeetUp.
**************************************
The Warrior Project is NOT an emergency program or service.
In the event of a crisis, please call 911
In the United States, other numbers to call include:
Maine Crisis Hotline:
1-888-568-1112
National Suicide Prevention Hotline:
800-273-8255
Veterans Suicide Hotline:
800-273-8255
Domestic Violence Hotline:
800-799-7233
*******************************
John and I owned both a small antiques shop and a used bookstore in Lewiston, Maine. After John died, I didn’t know what I wanted to do with the two shops – they take up a huge amount of time, and weren’t yet covering their own costs. After John died in October of 2016, the shops were barely open during the critical holiday sales season; I couldn’t stand being in them because we had such dreams for the future.
But Johnny loved his little bookstore (Heritage Books, Maps & Ephemera) and the goal was that he would one day “retire” into running the two shops. So I’ve committed to keeping them open, although Heritage Collectibles is now Heritage Collectibles, Books & Maps as I’ve combined those two businesses. However, they’ve been downsized considerably as I’ve reduced the floor space at 189 Main Street by half, and relocated inventory to other shops, to reduce my workload.
All of the profits from those two businesses (after expenses, of course!) will go to support The Warrior Project. If you are so inclined, please consider checking out our little store or buying from our booths at the shops listed below, knowing that your purchase will help fund this critically needed suicide prevention drop in center.
Locations:
189B Main Street, Lewiston ME. (Entrance through the back of the building, off Park Street.)
As of Thanksgiving of 2017, Heritage Collectibles has closed its 189 Main Street storefront, and is in the process of moving most of the antique & furniture inventory to other shops (see below). We are keeping what had previously been the furniture gallery section of the shop, however and will use that to house Heritage Collectibles, Books & Maps…. it will primarily offer books, maps, records & ephemera. We’d love it if you would follow our blogs! (Our Heritage Books & Maps blog isn’t presently as active as the Heritage Collectibles one.)
https://heritagecollectiblesmaine.com & https://heritagebooksandmaps.com
This will also be the location of The Grief Warrior support groups and eventual drop in center.
Our other locations:
Oxford – The Undercover Antique Mall, 960 Main Street. (207) 539-4149.
We have some great, less expensive inventory for you to check out at the Undercover Antique Mall, seven days a week from 9:00 am – 5:00 pm! We’re in booth #56.
Scarborough – The Southern Maine Indoor Flea Market, 578 U S Route 1. (207) 229-4263. Looking for cookbooks and kitchen-related items? Check out our small space (#99) at the Southern Maine Indoor Flea Market, seven days a week from 9:00 am – 5:00 pm!
Waterville – Hathaway Mill Antique Mall, 10 Water St. (207) 877-0250
We now have a space (Booth #23) in the brand spanking new Hathaway Mill Antique Mall! Here you’ll find only items produced in or before 1965.
Westbrook – The Den of Antiquities, 1399 Bridgton Rd. (207) 650-3007.
Just ask for us by name, or by booth 56! The Den of Antiquities is a wonderful antique shop with loads of great items, including our own! Please come check us out, Tuesdays through Sundays, 9:00 am – 5:00 pm.
I found this on a grief support group. The person who posted it said she didn’t remember who the author was or where it came from.
Although it was written by a woman who lost her husband, almost everything in here can related to the loss of anyone we love.
Please Understand
Please understand that my world had fallen apart. My world, my life, is no longer secure. Don’t run from my tears. I cannot control them. I’m not made of stone. Grief comes at me in waves and when it hits, it hits hard. I never know when a wave is coming and I just have to ride it out until the waters calm. You don’t need to say anything. You can’t make it better no matter how much you might want to.
Please talk about [my husband, wife, parent, child, relative, friend] to me. It’s not going to bring him back – I know this but it’s more of a comfort to cry than to pretend that he never existed. I need to talk about him and I’m sorry if I repeat myself. My brain doesn’t process things quite the way it used to. Don’t be afraid to mention his name. YOU can’t make me cry. The tears are here and I will love you for allowing me to shed them when I need to.
Just don’t abandon me. Please don’t act like I have some contagious disease. Don’t be afraid that you’re going to upset me. Grief isn’t catching. My world is painful, and when you are too afraid to call me or visit or say anything, you isolate me at a time when I most need to be cared about. If you don’t know what to say, just come over, give me a hug or touch my arm, and gently say, ‘I’m sorry.’ You can even say, ‘I just don’t know what to say, but I care, and want you to know that.’
Just because I look normal does not mean that I feel good. Only ask me how I’m doing if you really want to know. Please stop telling me, ‘You’re so strong’. I am not strong. I alternate between numbness and overwhelming moments of grief. When you tell me how strong I am I feel like you don’t see me at all. Please don’t tell me what I ‘have’ to do. I know I need to eat more. I know I need to sleep. I’m grieving, not stupid. Understand that there are times when I cannot physically force myself to eat because food tastes like cardboard and if I’m able to swallow it, it just sits like a lump in my stomach. Realize there are nights when my mind races and memories haunt me so that I cannot sleep. Eventually, I will be able to eat more than a few mouthfuls of food and I will be able to sleep for more than short periods at a time.
This is not something that I will heal from. This is not a cold or the flu. I’m not sick. I’m not depressed. A pill can’t fix this. I’m grieving and that’s different. The worst of my grieving may only begin months after [my loved one’s] death. Don’t set time limits on my grief. It may take six months or six years for me to function properly again.
I am not only grieving his death, but also the person I was when I was with him, the life we shared, the plans we had for our future, the places we will never go together, and the hopes and dreams that will never come true. His smile. his laughter. his kiss and his touch…my whole world has crumbled and I will never be the same. We built a life together and I loved our life. [My loved one] chose me to share his life with him and to be his wife. He didn’t choose to die.
I will not always be grieving as deeply as I am right now, but I will never forget [my loved one], the absolute love of my life. I want to incorporate his life and the gift of love we shared with one another into the rest of my life. He is a part of me and always will be, and sometimes I will remember him with laughter and other times with tears. Both are okay.
When you tell me what I should be doing, I feel even more lost and alone. I feel badly enough that [my loved one] is no longer here, so please don’t make it worse by telling me I’m not doing this right. I don’t even understand what you mean when you say, ‘You’ve got to get on with your life’, or ‘You’re young, you’ll bounce back quickly’. My life IS going on. I’ve been forced to take on more than it feels I can bear some days. It may not look the way you think it should. My new life, that I never wanted, will take time for me to adjust to and I will never be my old self again. So please, just love me as I am today, and know that with your love and support, joy will slowly return to my life.
Please do not tell me you understand how I feel. You don’t. Even if you have also lost a husband, you may partially understand, but as you didn’t lose MY husband, so you cannot possibly know exactly how I feel.
I need to know that you care about me. I need your hugs. I need you just to be with me. I need to know you believe in me and in my ability to get through my grief in my own way, and in my own time. Please don’t say, ‘Call me if you need anything.’ I’ll never call you because I have no idea what I need. Trying to figure out what you could do for me takes more energy than I have. If you think of something, just do it. If you want to call me then just call. Ask me more than once to join you at a movie or lunch or dinner. I may say no at first or even for a while but please don’t give up on me. Right now there are some days when it is all I can do to get out of bed in the morning. But don’t give up on me. Somewhere, in time, I may be ready and if you’ve given up on me then I really will be alone.
*****************************
For more information about The Grief Warrior Project – soon to be a drop-in and counseling center for those affected by suicide and/or suicidal thoughts, please click on the picture or link, or go to https://warrior-project.org.
The Grief Warrior Project is in the process of becoming a warm, welcoming drop-in center for those living with extreme emotional and/or physical pain coupled with hopelessness, and a resource for families and friends fearing for the life of, or grieving the loss of, the person they love so much.
We are accepting blogs and articles written on topics relevant to suicide, hopelessness, grief, and similar topics. Please contact Linda at LSnyder@regroupbiz.com or warriorprojectmaine@gmail.com.
*************************************
In memory of my beloved husband John Kelly Snyder… 20 Sept 1956 – 21 Oct 2016.
My Johnny was a true warrior, fighting demons no one else could see. I thought he was the strongest man in the world, and perhaps he was, but tragically, the demons got the better of him.
The name of this project is in no way intended to be reflective of, or piggy back off, Wounded Warriors which serves those military personnel wounded after September 11, 20o1. Like too many others, John was a warrior long before then.
Fair winds and following seas, Husband.
**************************************
We now have a group on Facebook to help find resources, support and ideas for getting The Warrior Project off the ground. You can find us there at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thewarriorproject/
Follow us on Twitter! @WarriorProjME.
We’re also on MeetUp; search Lewiston Grief Support MeetUp.
**************************************
The Warrior Project is NOT an emergency program or service.
In the event of a crisis, please call 911
In the United States, other numbers to call include:
Maine Crisis Hotline:
1-888-568-1112
National Suicide Prevention Hotline:
800-273-8255
Veterans Suicide Hotline:
800-273-8255
Domestic Violence Hotline:
800-799-7233
*******************************
John and I owned both a small antiques shop and a used bookstore in Lewiston, Maine. After John died, I didn’t know what I wanted to do with the two shops – they take up a huge amount of time, and weren’t yet covering their own costs. After John died in October of 2016, the shops were barely open during the critical holiday sales season; I couldn’t stand being in them because we had such dreams for the future.
But Johnny loved his little bookstore (Heritage Books, Maps & Ephemera) and the goal was that he would one day “retire” into running the two shops. So I’ve committed to keeping them open, although Heritage Collectibles is now Heritage Collectibles, Books & Maps as I’ve combined those two businesses. However, they’ve been downsized considerably as I’ve reduced the floor space at 189 Main Street by half, and relocated inventory to other shops, to reduce my workload.
All of the profits from those two businesses (after expenses, of course!) will go to support The Warrior Project. If you are so inclined, please consider checking out our little store or buying from our booths at the shops listed below, knowing that your purchase will help fund this critically needed suicide prevention drop in center.
Locations:
189B Main Street, Lewiston ME. (Entrance through the back of the building, off Park Street.)
As of Thanksgiving of 2017, Heritage Collectibles has closed its 189 Main Street storefront, and is in the process of moving most of the antique & furniture inventory to other shops (see below). We are keeping what had previously been the furniture gallery section of the shop, however and will use that to house Heritage Collectibles, Books & Maps…. it will primarily offer books, maps, records & ephemera. We’d love it if you would follow our blogs! (Our Heritage Books & Maps blog isn’t presently as active as the Heritage Collectibles one.)
https://heritagecollectiblesmaine.com & https://heritagebooksandmaps.com
This will also be the location of The Grief Warrior support groups and eventual drop in center.
Our other locations:
Oxford – The Undercover Antique Mall, 960 Main Street. (207) 539-4149.
We have some great, less expensive inventory for you to check out at the Undercover Antique Mall, seven days a week from 9:00 am – 5:00 pm! We’re in booth #56.
Scarborough – The Southern Maine Indoor Flea Market, 578 U S Route 1. (207) 229-4263. Looking for cookbooks and kitchen-related items? Check out our small space (#99) at the Southern Maine Indoor Flea Market, seven days a week from 9:00 am – 5:00 pm!
Waterville – Hathaway Mill Antique Mall, 10 Water St. (207) 877-0250
We now have a space (Booth #23) in the brand spanking new Hathaway Mill Antique Mall! Here you’ll find only items produced in or before 1965.
Westbrook – The Den of Antiquities, 1399 Bridgton Rd. (207) 650-3007.
Just ask for us by name, or by booth 56! The Den of Antiquities is a wonderful antique shop with loads of great items, including our own! Please come check us out, Tuesdays through Sundays, 9:00 am – 5:00 pm.
Too often grief manifests as anger toward the deceased. I haven’t really been angry at John for leaving me or for some of the shitty things he did while alive, because I understand why he did what he did.
Every now and then it does flare up, though. Dammit, Johnny, why didn’t you fix that? Dammit, Johnny, why didn’t you just TELL me what was going on?
But those flashes don’t last for more than a few seconds. He really was trying… he had a very physically demanding 60-hour a week job at a time when his body was falling apart; he also put another 20 hours a week into our antique shop.
I was working more, and had over the years, but I’d always been physically and emotionally healthier than he was.
So the anger flares suddenly, and just as quickly extinguishes.
For those times when it doesn’t, here are some ideas.
Mitchell was furious after leaving the front office. A student reported this anger outburst with her mother to administration. Upon finding her in the hallway, he unleashed on the student calling her stupid and belittling her. When she tried to get away, he abused his authority to keep her present and continued his harassment for several minutes.
Samantha was sick and tired of other people taking advantage of her. She gave up an entire weekend to complete a work project thinking it would advance her career but instead, her boss took all of the credit and did not even mention Samantha’s contribution. While driving home, a car cut her off on the freeway. That was the last straw. She tailed the driver and bumped the car nearly causing an accident.
Frustrated over a series of medical bills that never seem to go away, Bailey started drinking vodka to relieve the stress and reengage with the kids. In the beginning one shot would do the trick, now three shots were barely enough. When Bailey’s son begged for yet another light saber, she lost it and yelled about her son for being ungrateful for the things he had.
There are far better ways to handle anger other than to explode on others. Here are 19 other alternatives.
These 19 methods are great alternatives for releasing anger other than exploding onto others. The next time anger surfaces, experiment with one strategy at a time until 2-3 different effective approaches are correctly utilized.
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For more information about The Grief Warrior Project – soon to be a drop-in and counseling center for those affected by suicide and/or suicidal thoughts, please click on the picture or link, or go to https://warrior-project.org.
The Grief Warrior Project is in the process of becoming a warm, welcoming drop-in center for those living with extreme emotional and/or physical pain coupled with hopelessness, and a resource for families and friends fearing for the life of, or grieving the loss of, the person they love so much.
We are accepting blogs and articles written on topics relevant to suicide, hopelessness, grief, and similar topics. Please contact Linda at LSnyder@regroupbiz.com or warriorprojectmaine@gmail.com.
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In memory of my beloved husband John Kelly Snyder… 20 Sept 1956 – 21 Oct 2016.
My Johnny was a true warrior, fighting demons no one else could see. I thought he was the strongest man in the world, and perhaps he was, but tragically, the demons got the better of him.
The name of this project is in no way intended to be reflective of, or piggy back off, Wounded Warriors which serves those military personnel wounded after September 11, 20o1. Like too many others, John was a warrior long before then.
Fair winds and following seas, Husband.
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We now have a group on Facebook to help find resources, support and ideas for getting The Warrior Project off the ground. You can find us there at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thewarriorproject/
Follow us on Twitter! @WarriorProjME.
We’re also on MeetUp; search Lewiston Grief Support MeetUp.
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The Warrior Project is NOT an emergency program or service.
In the event of a crisis, please call 911
In the United States, other numbers to call include:
Maine Crisis Hotline:
1-888-568-1112
National Suicide Prevention Hotline:
800-273-8255
Veterans Suicide Hotline:
800-273-8255
Domestic Violence Hotline:
800-799-7233
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John and I owned both a small antiques shop and a used bookstore in Lewiston, Maine. After John died, I didn’t know what I wanted to do with the two shops – they take up a huge amount of time, and weren’t yet covering their own costs. After John died in October of 2016, the shops were barely open during the critical holiday sales season; I couldn’t stand being in them because we had such dreams for the future.
But Johnny loved his little bookstore (Heritage Books, Maps & Ephemera) and the goal was that he would one day “retire” into running the two shops. So I’ve committed to keeping them open, although Heritage Collectibles is now Heritage Collectibles, Books & Maps as I’ve combined those two businesses. However, they’ve been downsized considerably as I’ve reduced the floor space at 189 Main Street by half, and relocated inventory to other shops, to reduce my workload.
All of the profits from those two businesses (after expenses, of course!) will go to support The Warrior Project. If you are so inclined, please consider checking out our little store or buying from our booths at the shops listed below, knowing that your purchase will help fund this critically needed suicide prevention drop in center.
Locations:
189B Main Street, Lewiston ME. (Entrance through the back of the building, off Park Street.)
As of Thanksgiving of 2017, Heritage Collectibles has closed its 189 Main Street storefront, and is in the process of moving most of the antique & furniture inventory to other shops (see below). We are keeping what had previously been the furniture gallery section of the shop, however and will use that to house Heritage Collectibles, Books & Maps…. it will primarily offer books, maps, records & ephemera. We’d love it if you would follow our blogs! (Our Heritage Books & Maps blog isn’t presently as active as the Heritage Collectibles one.)
https://heritagecollectiblesmaine.com & https://heritagebooksandmaps.com
This will also be the location of The Grief Warrior support groups and eventual drop in center.
Our other locations:
Oxford – The Undercover Antique Mall, 960 Main Street. (207) 539-4149.
We have some great, less expensive inventory for you to check out at the Undercover Antique Mall, seven days a week from 9:00 am – 5:00 pm! We’re in booth #56.
Scarborough – The Southern Maine Indoor Flea Market, 578 U S Route 1. (207) 229-4263. Looking for cookbooks and kitchen-related items? Check out our small space (#99) at the Southern Maine Indoor Flea Market, seven days a week from 9:00 am – 5:00 pm!
Waterville – Hathaway Mill Antique Mall, 10 Water St. (207) 877-0250
We now have a space (Booth #23) in the brand spanking new Hathaway Mill Antique Mall! Here you’ll find only items produced in or before 1965.
Westbrook – The Den of Antiquities, 1399 Bridgton Rd. (207) 650-3007.
Just ask for us by name, or by booth 56! The Den of Antiquities is a wonderful antique shop with loads of great items, including our own! Please come check us out, Tuesdays through Sundays, 9:00 am – 5:00 pm.
The Grief Warrior Project 