Support Group Meeting Space – It’s Looking Great!

Good morning!

Those who have been following my blogs here, on Facebook and on MeetUp know that the past few months have been tough for me… not only am I dealing with the tragedy of my husband’s suicide last year, but I’m a full-time social worker, and have also been singlehandedly running the antiques business & used bookstore that John and I started in 2014.

Over the past couple of months I’ve been downsizing the shop from about 1800 square feet of space into about 600 sf, moving most of the inventory out to other shops, and reorganizing the remaining space into a bookshop with offices & meeting space for The Grief Warrior Project.

It’s really coming together, as you can see from the preliminary photos below – the group has the option of meeting in the open bookshop area, or in the small conference room.  (I prefer the comfy bookshop!)

So come on in this Tuesday, December 12 beginning at 6:00 pm for support and conversation, as well as coffee and cookies.  We’d love to have you.

Linda

The address is 189 B Main Street in Lewiston. From Main Street, turn onto Park Street and park in the first space you find.  The building is on the right hand side of Park Street; our entrance is at the rear of the building with signs in the windows saying “Retail Shop” and “Grief Warrior Project”.  My phone number is 207 / 740.2247.

Hopefully I’ll get the flag post holder moved soon and can put our pirate flag out to also show that we’re open (and our neon “Open” sign, too!).

*****************************

For more information about The Grief Warrior Project – soon to be a drop-in and counseling center for those affected by suicide and/or suicidal thoughts, please click on the picture or link, or go to https://warrior-project.org.

The Grief Warrior Project will eventually become a warm, welcoming drop-in center for those living with extreme emotional and/or physical pain coupled with hopelessness, and a resource for families and friends fearing for the life of, or grieving the loss of, the person they love so much.

We are accepting blogs and articles written on topics relevant to suicide, hopelessness, grief, and similar topics.  Please contact Linda at LSnyder@regroupbiz.com or warriorprojectmaine@gmail.com.

*************************************

In memory of my beloved husband John Kelly Snyder… 20 Sept 1956 – 21 Oct 2016.

My Johnny was a true warrior, fighting demons no one else could see.  I thought he was the strongest man in the world, and perhaps he was, but tragically, the demons got the better of him.

The name of this project is in no way intended to be reflective of, or piggy back off, Wounded Warriors which serves those military personnel wounded after September 11, 20o1.  Like too many others, John was a warrior long before then.

Fair winds and following seas, Husband.

**************************************

We now have a group on Facebook to help find resources, support and ideas for getting The Warrior Project off the ground.  You can find us there at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thewarriorproject/

Follow us on Twitter!  @WarriorProjME.

We’re also on MeetUp; search Lewiston Grief Support MeetUp.

**************************************

The Warrior Project is NOT an emergency program or service.

In the event of a crisis, please call 911

In the United States, other numbers to call include:
Maine Crisis Hotline:
1-888-568-1112
National Suicide Prevention Hotline:
800-273-8255
Veterans Suicide Hotline:
800-273-8255
Domestic Violence Hotline:
800-799-7233

*******************************

John and I owned both a small antiques shop and a used bookstore in Lewiston, Maine. After John died, I didn’t know what I wanted to do with the two shops – they take up a huge amount of time, and weren’t yet covering their own costs.  After John died in October of 2016, the shops were barely open during the critical holiday sales season; I couldn’t stand being in them because we had such dreams for the future.

But Johnny loved his little bookstore (Heritage Books, Maps & Ephemera) and the goal was that he would one day “retire” into running the two shops.  So I’ve committed to keeping them open, although Heritage Collectibles is now Heritage Collectibles, Books & Maps as I’ve combined those two businesses.  However, they’ve been downsized considerably as I’ve reduced the floor space at 189 Main Street by half, and relocated inventory to other shops, to reduce my workload.

All of the profits from those two businesses (after expenses, of course!) will go to support The Warrior Project.  If you are so inclined, please consider checking out our little store or buying from our booths at the shops listed below, knowing that your purchase will help fund this critically needed suicide prevention drop in center.

Locations:

189B Main Street, Lewiston ME.  (Entrance through the back of the building, off Park Street.)
As of Thanksgiving of 2017, Heritage Collectibles has closed its 189 Main Street storefront, and is in the process of moving most of the antique & furniture inventory to other shops (see below).  We are keeping what had previously been the furniture gallery section of the shop, however and will use that to house Heritage Collectibles, Books & Maps…. it will primarily offer books, maps, records & ephemera.  We’d love it if you would follow our blogs!  (Our Heritage Books & Maps blog isn’t presently as active as the Heritage Collectibles one.)
 https://heritagecollectiblesmaine.com https://heritagebooksandmaps.com

This will also be the location of The Grief Warrior support groups.

Our other locations:

Oxford – The Undercover Antique Mall, 960 Main Street.   (207) 539-4149.
We have some great, less expensive inventory for you to check out at the Undercover Antique Mall, seven days a week from 9:00 am – 5:00 pm!  We’re in booth #56.

Scarborough – The Southern Maine Indoor Flea Market, 578 U S Route 1.  (207) 229-4263.  Looking for cookbooks and kitchen-related items?  Check out our small space (#99) at the Southern Maine Indoor Flea Market, seven days a week from 9:00 am – 5:00 pm!

Waterville –  Hathaway Mill Antique Mall, 10 Water St.   (207) 877-0250 
We now have a space (Booth #23) in the brand spanking new Hathaway Mill Antique Mall!  Here you’ll find only items produced in or before 1965.

Westbrook – The Den of Antiquities, 1399 Bridgton Rd.  (207) 650-3007.
Just ask for us by name, or by booth 56!  The Den of Antiquities is a wonderful antique shop with loads of great items, including our own!  Please come check us out, Tuesdays through Sundays, 9:00 am – 5:00 pm.

Posted in Grief, John K Snyder | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Kicking Down the Door

I tried both the kicking the door down and picking the lock on that horrid door. But the demons had had their nightmare grip for too long. 

 

I am so sorry. 

*****************************

For more information about The Grief Warrior Project – soon to be a drop-in and counseling center for those affected by suicide and/or suicidal thoughts, please click on the picture or link, or go to https://warrior-project.org.

The Grief Warrior Project will eventually become a warm, welcoming drop-in center for those living with extreme emotional and/or physical pain coupled with hopelessness, and a resource for families and friends fearing for the life of, or grieving the loss of, the person they love so much.

We are accepting blogs and articles written on topics relevant to suicide, hopelessness, grief, and similar topics.  Please contact Linda at LSnyder@regroupbiz.com or warriorprojectmaine@gmail.com.

*************************************

In memory of my beloved husband John Kelly Snyder… 20 Sept 1956 – 21 Oct 2016.

My Johnny was a true warrior, fighting demons no one else could see.  I thought he was the strongest man in the world, and perhaps he was, but tragically, the demons got the better of him.

The name of this project is in no way intended to be reflective of, or piggy back off, Wounded Warriors which serves those military personnel wounded after September 11, 20o1.  Like too many others, John was a warrior long before then.

Fair winds and following seas, Husband.

**************************************

We now have a group on Facebook to help find resources, support and ideas for getting The Warrior Project off the ground.  You can find us there at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thewarriorproject/

Follow us on Twitter!  @WarriorProjME.

**************************************

The Warrior Project is NOT an emergency program or service.

In the event of a crisis, please call 911

In the United States, other numbers to call include:
Maine Crisis Hotline:
1-888-568-1112
National Suicide Prevention Hotline:
800-273-8255
Veterans Suicide Hotline:
800-273-8255
Domestic Violence Hotline:
800-799-7233

*******************************

John and I owned both a small antiques shop and a used bookstore in Lewiston, Maine. After John died, I didn’t know what I wanted to do with the two shops – they take up a huge amount of time, and weren’t yet covering their own costs.  After John died in October of 2016, the shops were barely open during the critical holiday sales season; I couldn’t stand being in them because we had such dreams for the future.

But Johnny loved his little bookstore (Heritage Books, Maps & Ephemera) and the goal was that he would one day “retire” into running the two shops.  So I’ve committed to keeping them open, although Heritage Collectibles is now Heritage Collectibles, Books & Maps as I’ve combined those two businesses.  However, they’ve been downsized considerably as I’ve reduced the floor space at 189 Main Street by half, and relocated inventory to other shops, to reduce my workload.

All of the profits from those two businesses (after expenses, of course!) will go to support The Warrior Project.  If you are so inclined, please consider checking out our shop or buying from our booths at the shops listed below, knowing that your purchase will help fund this critically needed suicide prevention drop in center.

Locations:

189B Main Street, Lewiston ME.  (Entrance through the back of the building, off Park Street.)
As of Thanksgiving of 2017, Heritage Collectibles has closed its 189 Main Street storefront, and is in the process of moving most of the antique & furniture inventory to other shops (see below).  We are keeping what had previously been the furniture gallery section of the shop, however and will use that to house Heritage Collectibles, Books & Maps…. it will primarily offer books, maps, records & ephemera.  We’d love it if you would follow our blogs!  (Our Heritage Books & Maps blog isn’t presently as active as the Heritage Collectibles one.)
 https://heritagecollectiblesmaine.com https://heritagebooksandmaps.com

This will also be the location of The (Grief) Warrior support groups.

Our other locations”

Oxford – The Undercover Antique Mall, 960 Main Street.   (207) 539-4149.
We have some great, less expensive inventory for you to check out at the Undercover Antique Mall, seven days a week from 9:00 am – 5:00 pm!  We’re in booth #56.

Scarborough – The Southern Maine Indoor Flea Market, 578 U S Route 1.  (207) 229-4263.  Looking for cookbooks and kitchen-related items?  Check out our small space (#99) at the Southern Maine Indoor Flea Market, seven days a week from 9:00 am – 5:00 pm!

Waterville –  Hathaway Mill Antique Mall, 10 Water St.   (207) 877-0250 
We now have a space (Booth #23) in the brand spanking new Hathaway Mill Antique Mall!  Here you’ll find only items produced in or before 1965.

Westbrook – The Den of Antiquities, 1399 Bridgton Rd.  (207) 650-3007.
Just ask for us by name, or by booth 56!  The Den of Antiquities is a wonderful antique shop with loads of great items, including our own!  Please come check us out, Tuesdays through Sundays, 9:00 am – 5:00 pm.

Posted in Grief, John K Snyder | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Same Path

 

Every time I think I’ve turned the corner on this grieving thing, I realize that corners are just that.

I may be headed in a somewhat different direction, but I’m still on the same path.

Gawd how I miss that man.

*****************************

For more information about The Warrior Project – soon to be a drop-in and counseling center for those affected by suicide and/or suicidal thoughts, please click on the picture or link, or go to https://warrior-project.org.

The Warrior Project will eventually become a warm, welcoming drop-in center for those living with extreme emotional and/or physical pain coupled with hopelessness, and a resource for families and friends fearing for the life of, or grieving the loss of, the person they love so much.

We are accepting blogs and articles written on topics relevant to suicide, hopelessness, grief, and similar topics.  Please contact Linda at LSnyder@regroupbiz.com or warriorprojectmaine@gmail.com.

*************************************

In memory of my beloved husband John Kelly Snyder… 20 Sept 1956 – 21 Oct 2016.

My Johnny was a true warrior, fighting demons no one else could see.  I thought he was the strongest man in the world, and perhaps he was, but tragically, the demons got the better of him.

The name of this project is in no way intended to be reflective of, or piggy back off, Wounded Warriors which serves those military personnel wounded after September 11, 20o1.  Like too many others, John was a warrior long before then.

Fair winds and following seas, Husband.

**************************************

We now have a group on Facebook to help find resources, support and ideas for getting The Warrior Project off the ground.  You can find us there at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thewarriorproject/

Follow us on Twitter!  @WarriorProjME.

**************************************

The Warrior Project is NOT an emergency program or service.

In the event of a crisis, please call 911

In the United States, other numbers to call include:
Maine Crisis Hotline:
1-888-568-1112
National Suicide Prevention Hotline:
800-273-8255
Veterans Suicide Hotline:
800-273-8255
Domestic Violence Hotline:
800-799-7233

*******************************

John and I owned both a small antiques shop and a used bookstore in Lewiston, Maine. After John died, I didn’t know what I wanted to do with the two shops – they take up a huge amount of time, and weren’t yet covering their own costs.  After John died in October of 2016, the shops were barely open during the critical holiday sales season; I couldn’t stand being in them because we had such dreams for the future.

But Johnny loved his little bookstore (Heritage Books, Maps & Ephemera) and the goal was that he would one day “retire” into running the two shops.  So I’ve committed to keeping them open, although Heritage Collectibles is now Heritage Collectibles, Books & Maps as I’ve combined those two businesses, and I’m opening Papa’s Thrift Shop for the inventory that doesn’t really work in the main store.  (Papa is what John’s grandchildren called him.)

All of the profits from those two businesses (after expenses, of course!) will go to support The Warrior Project.  If you are so inclined, please consider checking out our shops, knowing that your purchase will help fund this critically needed suicide prevention drop in center.

Posted in Support Groups | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

No Support Groups Until October

Ladies, you know how it is when you go on vacation – the house has to be spotless before you leave because no one wants to come home to a mess.  Right?

Well, with my first biological grandchild due any day (John had 4 of his own, but our children were all grown up when we reunited after more than 35 years, so we have none in common), I’m out straight trying to get our antiques shop & used book store organized before I close it up for the month of September, when I’ll be heading across the country to spend time with my daughter, son-in-law and grandbaby.

And of course, there’s the 3 story house that has to be cleaned, the social work job that takes a lot of time every week, and various committee meetings and other appointments.

So…. since I’ll be in Los Angeles, there’ll be no support group meetings for the month of September, and none for the next two weeks (August 18-31), while I’m trying to get everything under control.

I’m planning to still be available by phone and email, though.  And hopefully I’ll be able to keep up with our Twitter account, too.

Please take good care of yourselves.

*****************************

For more information about The Warrior Project – soon to be a drop-in and counseling center for those affected by suicide and/or suicidal thoughts, please click on the picture or link, or go to https://warrior-project.org.

The Warrior Project will eventually become a warm, welcoming drop-in center for those living with extreme emotional and/or physical pain coupled with hopelessness, and a resource for families and friends fearing for the life of, or grieving the loss of, the person they love so much.

We are accepting blogs and articles written on topics relevant to suicide, hopelessness, grief, and similar topics.  Please contact Linda at LSnyder@regroupbiz.com or warriorprojectmaine@gmail.com.

*************************************

In memory of my beloved husband John Kelly Snyder… 20 Sept 1956 – 21 Oct 2016.

My Johnny was a true warrior, fighting demons no one else could see.  I thought he was the strongest man in the world, and perhaps he was, but tragically, the demons got the better of him.

The name of this project is in no way intended to be reflective of, or piggy back off, Wounded Warriors which serves those military personnel wounded after September 11, 20o1.  Like too many others, John was a warrior long before then.

Fair winds and following seas, Husband.

**************************************

We now have a group on Facebook to help find resources, support and ideas for getting The Warrior Project off the ground.  You can find us there at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thewarriorproject/

Follow us on Twitter!  @WarriorProjME.

**************************************

The Warrior Project is NOT an emergency program or service.

In the event of a crisis, please call 911

In the United States, other numbers to call include:
Maine Crisis Hotline:
1-888-568-1112
National Suicide Prevention Hotline:
800-273-8255
Veterans Suicide Hotline:
800-273-8255
Domestic Violence Hotline:
800-799-7233

*******************************

John and I owned both a small antiques shop and a used bookstore in Lewiston, Maine. After John died, I didn’t know what I wanted to do with the two shops – they take up a huge amount of time, and weren’t yet covering their own costs.  After John died in October of 2016, the shops were barely open during the critical holiday sales season; I couldn’t stand being in them because we had such dreams for the future.

But Johnny loved his little bookstore (Heritage Books, Maps & Ephemera) and the goal was that he would one day “retire” into running the two shops.  So I’ve committed to keeping them open, although Heritage Collectibles is now Heritage Collectibles, Books & Maps as I’ve combined those two businesses, and I’m opening Papa’s Thrift Shop for the inventory that doesn’t really work in the main store.  (Papa is what John’s grandchildren called him.)

All of the profits from those two businesses (after expenses, of course!) will go to support The Warrior Project.  If you are so inclined, please consider checking out our shops, knowing that your purchase will help fund this critically needed suicide prevention drop in center.

Posted in Support Groups | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

His Belongings Still Belong

It’s been 9 1/2 months and I haven’t moved John’s clothing from our closet, his winter jackets from the mudroom, his LL Bean hiking vest with all its pockets from the sofa in the sun room where he left it, or even his toothbrush next to mine in the bathroom (although I did use it by accident a couple of times).

Today I found myself looking at his shoes and – as if I was arguing with someone – said out loud, “No, those are my husband’s and they’re staying right there”.

Arguing with someone?  Who would that be?   Myself?   I don’t think so.  I don’t need to convince myself that his belongings still belong.

I guess I was reminding the universe that I’m still married and still love my husband.

Even if I’m lonely at times.

*****************************

For more information about The Warrior Project – soon to be a drop-in and counseling center for those affected by suicide and/or suicidal thoughts, please click on the picture or link, or go to https://warrior-project.org.

The Warrior Project will eventually become a warm, welcoming drop-in center for those living with extreme emotional and/or physical pain coupled with hopelessness, and a resource for families and friends fearing for the life of, or grieving the loss of, the person they love so much.

We are accepting blogs and articles written on topics relevant to suicide, hopelessness, grief, and similar topics.  Please contact Linda at LSnyder@regroupbiz.com or warriorprojectmaine@gmail.com.

*************************************

In memory of my beloved husband John Kelly Snyder… 20 Sept 1956 – 21 Oct 2016.

My Johnny was a true warrior, fighting demons no one else could see.  I thought he was the strongest man in the world, and perhaps he was, but tragically, the demons got the better of him.

The name of this project is in no way intended to be reflective of, or piggy back off, Wounded Warriors which serves those military personnel wounded after September 11, 20o1.  Like too many others, John was a warrior long before then.

Fair winds and following seas, Husband.

**************************************

We now have a group on Facebook to help find resources, support and ideas for getting The Warrior Project off the ground.  You can find us there at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thewarriorproject/

Follow us on Twitter!  @WarriorProjME.

**************************************

The Warrior Project is NOT an emergency program or service.

In the event of a crisis, please call 911

In the United States, other numbers to call include:
Maine Crisis Hotline:
1-888-568-1112
National Suicide Prevention Hotline:
800-273-8255
Veterans Suicide Hotline:
800-273-8255
Domestic Violence Hotline:
800-799-7233

*******************************

John and I owned both a small antiques shop and a used bookstore in Lewiston, Maine. After John died, I didn’t know what I wanted to do with the two shops – they take up a huge amount of time, and weren’t yet covering their own costs.  After John died in October of 2016, the shops were barely open during the critical holiday sales season; I couldn’t stand being in them because we had such dreams for the future.

But Johnny loved his little bookstore (Heritage Books, Maps & Ephemera) and the goal was that he would one day “retire” into running the two shops.  So I’ve committed to keeping them open, although Heritage Collectibles is now Heritage Collectibles, Books & Maps as I’ve combined those two businesses, and I’m opening Papa’s Thrift Shop for the inventory that doesn’t really work in the main store.  (Papa is what John’s grandchildren called him.)

All of the profits from those two businesses (after expenses, of course!) will go to support The Warrior Project.  If you are so inclined, please consider checking out our shops, knowing that your purchase will help fund this critically needed suicide prevention drop in center.

Posted in Grief, Loneliness, Suicide | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

I Didn’t See It Happening…

With the antiques shop & used book store John and I started and that I’m now running on my own, my social work job, my volunteer activities – and my frequent grief-stricken meltdowns – I don’t do much that’s particularly fun or enjoyable.

— I love my social work job, but all of the client traumas and dynamics get me wound up and emotionally exhausted where they never did before John killed himself.

— The shop is an enormous amount of work that was supposed to be John’s retirement once it started making money and we no longer had to subsidize it with our salaries, but I enjoy it because the financial pieces  – the budgeting and spreadsheets etc – use the more logical, mathematical side of my brain that I need to stay balanced.

— And I’m committed to volunteering as I always have, although I’ve limited those activities significantly and only serve on a couple of boards, rather than half a dozen or more.

— I’m not ready to give any of these up.

If it wasn’t for our dogs (there are now just two of them, since John’s little wire-haired dachshund Buddy died a few months after John did), I probably wouldn’t leave the house except for the activities listed above.  But the poor pups are home alone far too much and they need to get out and greet the world, and see people other than me, and sniff exciting new scents (and poop) other than those same old smells they sniff every day for hours on end in the house and in our yards.

Tonight I was walking the two of them (Rudi and Millie) at a local veteran’s park and had this sudden thought that “it would have been nice if John and I could have come here once in a while”.  After all, the park is only a mile from our home.

That thought was immediately followed by, “but we never did anything”.  John was always too tired, or in too much pain, to want to go anywhere… even for a walk.  And I hadn’t realized before how much our lives had changed so drastically over the years, and how deeply he had slipped into his depression – and drinking far too much – without me realizing it.

I knew he was sick.  After all, I’d dragged him from doctor to doctor and lived through him being hospitalized near death five years before he actually died.  John had many ailments, and was also being monitored for possible lung cancer, which the doctors hadn’t definitively diagnosed, but which John believed he had.

I knew he was in severe pain at times.  I knew he had demons that plagued him that he didn’t talk about.  But I just didn’t see now devastatingly, bone-numbingly exhausting it all was for him, because he didn’t complain much, and he worked hard at putting on a facade to give the impression that it was all manageable.

And now, even though I miss him desperately and am in tears writing this, I realize what a nightmare it was for me, too.  I did everything I could to make his life easier for him.  I took on projects that should have been his, even though I was already exhausted and stretched beyond anyone’s normal limits.

But it wasn’t ever enough; it couldn’t ever be enough.  I lived with a constant anxiety and sense of foreboding. I was terrified that I would come home one evening and find him dead – and he knew how afraid I was of that possible scenario.

Then one day, that over-riding fear that had colored nearly everything I thought and felt and acted on for years, finally came to pass.  The unimaginable happened, and at times it makes me so sick to my very soul that I’m a sobbing puddle on the floor, hurting so badly I want to vomit.

And I’m left with horrible guilt, unending sadness, terrible loneliness – and an ever-so-small amount of relief.

 

 

*****************************

For more information about The Warrior Project – soon to be a drop-in and counseling center for those affected by suicide and/or suicidal thoughts, please click on the picture or link, or go to https://warrior-project.org.

The Warrior Project will eventually become a warm, welcoming drop-in center for those living with extreme emotional and/or physical pain coupled with hopelessness, and a resource for families and friends fearing for the life of, or grieving the loss of, the person they love so much.

We are accepting blogs and articles written on topics relevant to suicide, hopelessness, grief, and similar topics.  Please contact Linda at LSnyder@regroupbiz.com or warriorprojectmaine@gmail.com.

*************************************

In memory of my beloved husband John Kelly Snyder… 20 Sept 1956 – 21 Oct 2016.

My Johnny was a true warrior, fighting demons no one else could see.  I thought he was the strongest man in the world, and perhaps he was, but tragically, the demons got the better of him.

The name of this project is in no way intended to be reflective of, or piggy back off, Wounded Warriors which serves those military personnel wounded after September 11, 20o1.  Like too many others, John was a warrior long before then.

Fair winds and following seas, Husband.

**************************************

We now have a group on Facebook to help find resources, support and ideas for getting The Warrior Project off the ground.  You can find us there at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thewarriorproject/

Follow us on Twitter!  @WarriorProjME.

**************************************

The Warrior Project is NOT an emergency program or service.

In the event of a crisis, please call 911

In the United States, other numbers to call include:
Maine Crisis Hotline:
1-888-568-1112
National Suicide Prevention Hotline:
800-273-8255
Veterans Suicide Hotline:
800-273-8255
Domestic Violence Hotline:
800-799-7233

*******************************

John and I owned both a small antiques shop and a used bookstore in Lewiston, Maine. After John died, I didn’t know what I wanted to do with the two shops – they take up a huge amount of time, and weren’t yet covering their own costs.  After John died in October of 2016, the shops were barely open during the critical holiday sales season; I couldn’t stand being in them because we had such dreams for the future.

But Johnny loved his little bookstore (Heritage Books, Maps & Ephemera) and the goal was that he would one day “retire” into running the two shops.  So I’ve committed to keeping them open, although Heritage Collectibles is now Heritage Collectibles, Books & Maps as I’ve combined those two businesses, and I’m opening Papa’s Thrift Shop for the inventory that doesn’t really work in the main store.  (Papa is what John’s grandchildren called him.)

All of the profits from those two businesses (after expenses, of course!) will go to support The Warrior Project.  If you are so inclined, please consider checking out our shops, knowing that your purchase will help fund this critically needed suicide prevention drop in center.

Posted in Death & Dying, Grief, Loneliness, Suicide | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Eight Months – And No, I’m Not “Over” Him Yet

You’ve been gone almost 8 months.  Much of the time I can pretend that you’re away, or at work or something, and not think about what really happened.  That way I can block the pain.

But too often, and usually several times a day – like now – it all comes back as horribly painfully as if it happened more recently. Not as painfully as if you had died yesterday, nor like in the first few weeks afterwards, but more like a couple of months after, when the screams that had threatened to rip my heart out of my chest alleviated somewhat.

Years ago I read in some stupid pop psychology article that after a divorce, it takes one month to recover for every year you were married.  So if you were married for 20 years, it would take more than a year and a half to recover; if you were married for one year, it would take just one month.  Horse puckey of course, because it’s different for everyone.

And it certainly is meaningless when a devoted, loving marriage ends through death, whether that death is from a long, slow decline by illness, or a sudden death by accident, or worse, from suicide.

What would that pop psychology expert say to me?  Is there some kind of algorithm for my situation?  John and I were together for more than ten years.  Does the recovery time double when it’s an expected death, and maybe triple when it’s unexpected?  If it’s from suicide, does that make a difference?

I’m sure there are people who are tired of my posts on Facebook, “tagging” John about things he’d find interesting and updating him on the (mis)adventures of the pups.  Those people probably wonder why I don’t just get over it.

Sorry if you’re bored, Sweetie.  My grief is with me every minute, whether I’m actively feeling it or not.  If you’ve never loved anyone as fiercely as I loved my husband, then my first wish for you is that you someday find that kind of love because then you will understand how very precious it is.  And my second wish is that you never lose that love, until you’re old and grey and can go together… because, well, I just wouldn’t wish this on anyone.

*****************************

For more information about The Warrior Project – soon to be a drop-in and counseling center for those affected by suicide and/or suicidal thoughts, please click on the picture or link, or go to https://warrior-project.org.

The Warrior Project will eventually become a warm, welcoming drop-in center for those living with extreme emotional and/or physical pain coupled with hopelessness, and a resource for families and friends fearing for the life of, or grieving the loss of, the person they love so much.

We are accepting blogs and articles written on topics relevant to suicide, hopelessness, grief, and similar topics.  Please contact Linda at LSnyder@regroupbiz.com or warriorprojectmaine@gmail.com.

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In memory of my beloved husband John Kelly Snyder… 20 Sept 1956 – 21 Oct 2016.

My Johnny was a true warrior, fighting demons no one else could see.  I thought he was the strongest man in the world, and perhaps he was, but tragically, the demons got the better of him.

The name of this project is in no way intended to be reflective of, or piggy back off, Wounded Warriors which serves those military personnel wounded after September 11, 20o1.  Like too many others, John was a warrior long before then.

Fair winds and following seas, Husband.

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We now have a group on Facebook to help find resources, support and ideas for getting The Warrior Project off the ground.  You can find us there at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thewarriorproject/

Follow us on Twitter!  @WarriorProjME.

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The Warrior Project is NOT an emergency program or service.

In the event of a crisis, please call 911

In the United States, other numbers to call include:
Maine Crisis Hotline:
1-888-568-1112
National Suicide Prevention Hotline:
800-273-8255
Veterans Suicide Hotline:
800-273-8255
Domestic Violence Hotline:
800-799-7233

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John and I owned both a small antiques shop and a used bookstore in Lewiston, Maine. After John died, I didn’t know what I wanted to do with the two shops – they take up a huge amount of time, and weren’t yet covering their own costs.  After John died in October of 2016, the shops were barely open during the critical holiday sales season; I couldn’t stand being in them because we had such dreams for the future.

But Johnny loved his little bookstore (Heritage Books, Maps & Ephemera) and the goal was that he would one day “retire” into running the two shops.  So I’ve committed to keeping them open, although Heritage Collectibles is now Heritage Collectibles, Books & Maps as I’ve combined those two businesses, and I’m opening Papa’s Thrift Shop for the inventory that doesn’t really work in the main store.  (Papa is what John’s grandchildren called him.)

All of the profits from those two businesses (after expenses, of course!) will go to support The Warrior Project.  If you are so inclined, please consider checking out our shops, knowing that your purchase will help fund this critically needed suicide prevention drop in center.

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