Quick Thoughts on the Case of Michelle Carter, Who At Age 17 Convinced Her 18 Year Old Boyfriend to Suicide

https://www.boston.com/news/local-news/2017/06/05/read-the-messages-at-the-heart-of-the-michelle-carter-suicide-by-text-manslaughter-trial

The link above is to the Boston.com article on the trial of Michelle Carter, who has waived a jury trial in a sad, tragic and ultimately horrific case of a 17 year old girl who convinced her 18 year old boyfriend to kill himself.

This is frightening… a teenage girl has no freaking clue how people will feel after a young man suicides. She also has no clue what a young man’s options are – now, or in the future. It doesn’t matter how depressed and hopeless he felt; he was only 18.

And she was just 17.

Children should never try to manage situations as serious as this on their own.

My husband was 60 years old and had been struggling for years. And he had lost his health (he was living with chronic pain so bad it made him nauseous and left him in tears at times, he had advanced emphysema, and he was heavily self-medicating with alcohol, among other problems). Further, he was convinced he had lung cancer, although that hadn’t yet been officially diagnosed despite nearly a year and a half of CT scans and other constant monitoring.

Even so, I would never have encouraged him to kill himself… Had I known he had active suicidal ideation I would have fought it with everything I had in me, just as I was fighting him for giving up on his other health issues.

And I would have continued fighting, at least until it was clear that he had no quality of life, had totally lost his dignity and that there were no other options. At that point I might have stopped fighting but I would never ever have encouraged him.

As far as her statements that his parents would understand and would be sad for a while but would move on…. holy crap.  There can be nothing on this earth worse than losing a child, unless it’s losing a child to suicide.

From a distance it’s hard to know what was going on in Carter’s mind as she repeatedly encouraged Roy to “do it”.  Did she really believe it was the right thing for him to do, or was she getting some kind of vicarious thrill out of pushing him so hard and having so much control over him?  Frankly, I fear it was the latter… she seemed so cool and composed during those texts.

This case is a nightmare.

 

*****************************

For more information about The Warrior Project – soon to be a drop-in and counseling center for those affected by suicide and/or suicidal thoughts, please click on the picture or link, or go to https://warrior-project.org.

The Warrior Project will eventually become a warm, welcoming drop-in center for those living with extreme emotional and/or physical pain coupled with hopelessness, and a resource for families and friends fearing for the life of, or grieving the loss of, the person they love so much.

We are accepting blogs and articles written on topics relevant to suicide, hopelessness, grief, and similar topics.  Please contact Linda at LSnyder@regroupbiz.com or warriorprojectmaine@gmail.com.

*************************************

In memory of my beloved husband John Kelly Snyder… 20 Sept 1956 – 21 Oct 2016.

My Johnny was a true warrior, fighting demons no one else could see.  I thought he was the strongest man in the world, and perhaps he was, but tragically, the demons got the better of him.

The name of this project is in no way intended to be reflective of, or piggy back off, Wounded Warriors which serves those military personnel wounded after September 11, 20o1.  Like too many others, John was a warrior long before then.

Fair winds and following seas, Husband.

**************************************

We now have a group on Facebook to help find resources, support and ideas for getting The Warrior Project off the ground.  You can find us there at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thewarriorproject/

Follow us on Twitter!  @WarriorProjME.

**************************************

The Warrior Project is NOT an emergency program or service.

In the event of a crisis, please call 911

In the United States, other numbers to call include:
Maine Crisis Hotline:
1-888-568-1112
National Suicide Prevention Hotline:
800-273-8255
Veterans Suicide Hotline:
800-273-8255
Domestic Violence Hotline:
800-799-7233

*******************************

John and I owned both a small antiques shop and a used bookstore in Lewiston, Maine. After John died, I didn’t know what I wanted to do with the two shops – they take up a huge amount of time, and weren’t yet covering their own costs.  After John died in October of 2016, the shops were barely open during the critical holiday sales season; I couldn’t stand being in them because we had such dreams for the future.

But Johnny loved his little bookstore (Heritage Books, Maps & Ephemera) and the goal was that he would one day “retire” into running the two shops.  So I’ve committed to keeping them open, although Heritage Collectibles is now Heritage Collectibles, Books & Maps as I’ve combined those two businesses, and I’m opening Papa’s Thrift Shop for the inventory that doesn’t really work in the main store.  (Papa is what John’s grandchildren called him.)

All of the profits from those two businesses (after expenses, of course!) will go to support The Warrior Project.  If you are so inclined, please consider checking out our shops, knowing that your purchase will help fund this critically needed suicide prevention drop in center.

Posted in Suicide | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

No Group, Tuesday May 30

There will be no support group on Tuesday, May 30. The facilitator has been delayed at her day job with a social work issue and will be unable to make it on time.

We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause.

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

The Slam of the Day Does Not Define You

It’s been one of those days…

Aside from the usual day to day stuff that can put one in an irritable mood if one lets it (cold drizzly rain, too much to do, not having the correct paperwork with you when it’s needed, running out of ink in the printer, blah blah), I’ve had to deal with two situations that are costing me time and emotional energy.

In the first, I learned that a package I’ve been waiting for was sent to a post office box in the wrong town, and the person renting that P O box stole my package.  (It had my name on it, so even though it was addressed to the wrong town, my name is still prima facie evidence that the package – and the gifts inside that I’d ordered for family members – did not belong to the box holder.)

I’ve been dealing with PayPal and trying to contact the company I ordered from, as well as the local post office, the local police department, and the theft division of the USPS.  It’s been a hair-pulling experience.

The second instance is a troll who had previously had one of my antiques posts pulled from craigslist after harassing me repeatedly by email, including calling me names.  He was pretty abusive, and I complained to craigslist.  The post – which described an item exactly as how that item has been described many times on one of my antiques subscription services – was reinstated by craigslist until this morning when the self-appointed purveyor of “truth” had the post pulled again.  So once again, I reported him to craigslist.

These are the kinds of things that would have sent me through the roof just a few short weeks ago.  Now, I can handle my anxiety better because I’ve had to learn that one of my worst fears in the world can come true, and I can survive it.  If I can handle John’s suicide without totally losing my mind even when I thought I was going to (a feeling I still have at times), then I suppose I can handle almost anything.  (I think there’s only one other thing in this world that could be worse than his suicide, and if for some reason that ever did come to pass, I probably wouldn’t survive it.)

Anyway, the point of this post is not supposed to be about me.  It’s about John and his depression & anxiety.  It’s about you and your depression and anxiety, or someone you love, and that person’s depression and anxiety.

John took incidents such as the above to heart.  He felt them far too deeply, and far too personally.  He would refer to such things as “the slam of the day” and it would completely color his outlook.  Don’t get me wrong; it’s not like he would go around expressing his anger or his irritation or his upset.  He would make the one comment and then swallow it down.  He would try to act as if everything was okay.

But inside it was festering.

As I tell my clients – over and over and over – if you don’t address it, it will leak out somewhere, somehow, and it won’t be pretty when it does.

And with John, it wasn’t pretty.  He drank too much – which he was able to hide from me for far too long.  He thought about suicide a lot – which he also was able to hide from me until the very end.  His health suffered.  He gave up.

He killed himself in despair and out of fear of being a burden.

I’ve always been similarly reactive to shitty things happening, but I’ve never been good at stuffing my feelings.  And I don’t drink when I’m unhappy.  And my body isn’t falling apart like my husband’s was.

And those apparently are my saving graces… in particular, my penchant for howling out my pain.

Had my Johnny been able to let it out… to scream and cry when he felt the world was against him, when he believed he’d been wronged unfairly, when he ached silently because of the losses in his life – his innocence, his health, and those he loved… he might still be alive.

Anxiety coupled with depression is a hideous pairing.  Small things turn into ogres; larger problems become a nightmare of horrific proportions.  It feels like one is being smothered, with the life being squeezed relentlessly out of one’s body.  It feels like there is no escape.

And it eventually becomes too hard to fight.

I say to each and every person… you are worth it.  You are worth loving. You are worth saving.  If you would fight hard for someone else, then you must understand that you yourself are worth fighting hard for.

The slam of the day is only as big as you allow it to be.  Don’t let the bad stuff define you, no matter how much your anxiety and depression tell you that you are a loser.

You are not.  And if you don’t believe it, ask me.  Because I believe in you.

 

UPDATE!  And a reason why taking things too much to heart can be a waste of time and emotional energy…

After posting this, and after having made numerous calls to the police department, USPS theft division, and local post office, I received a call back from the post office.  They’d found my package.  It was in a bin of mail that was being returned to sender, “addressee unknown”.  So there was no theft.  Yes, it’s true that they might have checked that bin prior to me making several calls (and I now had to call the police and USPS theft division back to let them know), but I was just glad that my package was found.

*****************************

For more information about The Warrior Project – soon to be a drop-in and counseling center for those affected by suicide and/or suicidal thoughts, please click on the picture or link, or go to https://warrior-project.org.

The Warrior Project will eventually become a warm, welcoming drop-in center for those living with extreme emotional and/or physical pain coupled with hopelessness, and a resource for families and friends fearing for the life of, or grieving the loss of, the person they love so much.

We are accepting blogs and articles written on topics relevant to suicide, hopelessness, grief, and similar topics.  Please contact Linda at LSnyder@regroupbiz.com or warriorprojectmaine@gmail.com.

*************************************

In memory of my beloved husband John Kelly Snyder… 20 Sept 1956 – 21 Oct 2016.

My Johnny was a true warrior, fighting demons no one else could see.  I thought he was the strongest man in the world, and perhaps he was, but tragically, the demons got the better of him.

The name of this project is in no way intended to be reflective of, or piggy back off, Wounded Warriors which serves those military personnel wounded after September 11, 20o1.  Like too many others, John was a warrior long before then.

Fair winds and following seas, Husband.

**************************************

We now have a group on Facebook to help find resources, support and ideas for getting The Warrior Project off the ground.  You can find us there at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thewarriorproject/

Follow us on Twitter!  @WarriorProjME.

**************************************

The Warrior Project is NOT an emergency program or service.

In the event of a crisis, please call 911

In the United States, other numbers to call include:
Maine Crisis Hotline:
1-888-568-1112
National Suicide Prevention Hotline:
800-273-8255
Veterans Suicide Hotline:
800-273-8255
Domestic Violence Hotline:
800-799-7233

*******************************

John and I owned both a small antiques shop and a used bookstore in Lewiston, Maine. After John died, I didn’t know what I wanted to do with the two shops – they take up a huge amount of time, and weren’t yet covering their own costs.  After John died in October of 2016, the shops were barely open during the critical holiday sales season; I couldn’t stand being in them because we had such dreams for the future.

But Johnny loved his little bookstore (Heritage Books, Maps & Ephemera) and the goal was that he would one day “retire” into running the two shops.  So I’ve committed to keeping them open, although Heritage Collectibles is now Heritage Collectibles, Books & Maps as I’ve combined those two businesses, and I’m opening Papa’s Thrift Shop for the inventory that doesn’t really work in the main store.  (Papa is what John’s grandchildren called him.)

All of the profits from those two businesses (after expenses, of course!) will go to support The Warrior Project.  If you are so inclined, please consider checking out our shops, knowing that your purchase will help fund this critically needed suicide prevention drop in center.

Posted in Coping Skills & Resiliency, Death & Dying, Grief, Loneliness, Suicide | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

He Died of Depression

I’ve been commenting on a Facebook thread in which the original poster wrote:

The quickest and easiest way for [me] to start a flame war in the comments section? By writing down [my] real opinion about the use of “medication” to treat psych disorders.

Anxiety medication with INCREASED RISK OF SUICIDE as a side effect. Unreal. And now a rock icon that I valued, respected and enjoyed — and a husband and father — is gone, almost certainly because of damned pills.

I can’t even put into words how much I loathe psychiatry. I’m basically Tom Cruise on this subject.

The person posting the above did indeed get dozens of comments, on both sides of the issue… with far too many people screaming that psychiatric medications kill people, are the worst things on the planet, etc etc.

As a social worker, I’ve seen people who haven’t been helped by medications and people with nasty side effects (drooling, weight gain, the “Thorazine shuffle”).  I’ve argued with a doctor in ICU, that a family member should NOT be given low dose Haldol for anxiety.  (It is my belief – from talking to psychiatric patients – that Haldol, one of the first antipsychotics – is nothing more than a chemical restraint.  The patient still has the symptoms, but can’t react to them, thus making the medical personnel’s life easier but not the patient’s.  It is still prescribed because it costs pennies to administer, unlike other, much more expensive medications.)

I’ve also seen far more people who have been given their lives back by the use of psychiatric medications, particularly the newer ones.

The medical world can see cancer cells and target them for treatment. Physicians can see heart disease and treat it.

Depression and anxiety, however… with those we have to depend on the person’s history, his or her self-report and our interpretation of physical signs.  However, too often there’s not much in the way of objective physical signs for us to go on.  For example, does the patient appear lethargic? Does she have dulled affect?  Does he appear “tense”?  It’s not like a more physical ailment where you can hear the rattling of pneumonia in one’s chest, or measure a blood sugar spike or hypertensive episode.

With depression and anxiety (and a whole host of other psychiatric conditions), the treating medical or clinical practitioner has to depend on that patient’s self-report to identify the symptoms and make a diagnosis, and those symptoms can seem unrelated to what’s really going on.

The patient may complain of headaches, digestive problems, sleep deprivation, aches & pains, lack of appetite (or increased appetite), chest pain, etc – none of which are typically easy for the clinician to see.

The distinction that anti-meds people don’t get is that when people die of cancer or heart attacks, it seems as though the body just gave up, even if there were things the person could have done to have prevented that heart attack or that cancer.  But if the person was on medications for that cancer or heart disease and dies anyway, there isn’t a huge outcry of “the medical community makes us take these horrible medications that don’t work”.

For some reason, when someone is on medications for an illness that is just as lethal as heart disease or cancer (and depression and anxiety are indeed lethal illnesses), and dies anyway (by suicide), there’s this persistent belief that it’s the medications that caused that death.

Let’s get this straight.

Suicide is nearly always caused by depression or anxiety. When a person dies of heart disease, she’s said to die of heart disease. When a person dies of cancer, he’s said to die of cancer.

When my husband died of depression & anxiety, the death certificate stated that he died of “an intraoral gunshot wound”.

NO!

My husband died of depression and anxiety.

In this instance, it doesn’t matter whether he was on medications or not (he was not).  My husband’s depression and his anxiety killed him.

*****************************

For more information about The Warrior Project – soon to be a drop-in and counseling center for those affected by suicide and/or suicidal thoughts, please click on the picture or link, or go to https://warrior-project.org.

The Warrior Project will eventually become a warm, welcoming drop-in center for those living with extreme emotional and/or physical pain coupled with hopelessness, and a resource for families and friends fearing for the life of, or grieving the loss of, the person they love so much.

We are accepting blogs and articles written on topics relevant to suicide, hopelessness, grief, and similar topics.  Please contact Linda at LSnyder@regroupbiz.com or warriorprojectmaine@gmail.com.

*************************************

In memory of my beloved husband John Kelly Snyder… 20 Sept 1956 – 21 Oct 2016.

My Johnny was a true warrior, fighting demons no one else could see.  I thought he was the strongest man in the world, and perhaps he was, but tragically, the demons got the better of him.

The name of this project is in no way intended to be reflective of, or piggy back off, Wounded Warriors which serves those military personnel wounded after September 11, 20o1.  Like too many others, John was a warrior long before then.

Fair winds and following seas, Husband.

**************************************

We now have a group on Facebook to help find resources, support and ideas for getting The Warrior Project off the ground.  You can find us there at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thewarriorproject/

Follow us on Twitter!  @WarriorProjME.

**************************************

The Warrior Project is NOT an emergency program or service.

In the event of a crisis, please call 911

In the United States, other numbers to call include:
Maine Crisis Hotline:
1-888-568-1112
National Suicide Prevention Hotline:
800-273-8255
Veterans Suicide Hotline:
800-273-8255
Domestic Violence Hotline:
800-799-7233

*******************************

John and I owned both a small antiques shop and a used bookstore in Lewiston, Maine. After John died, I didn’t know what I wanted to do with the two shops – they take up a huge amount of time, and weren’t yet covering their own costs.  After John died in October of 2016, the shops were barely open during the critical holiday sales season; I couldn’t stand being in them because we had such dreams for the future.

But Johnny loved his little bookstore (Heritage Books, Maps & Ephemera) and the goal was that he would one day “retire” into running the two shops.  So I’ve committed to keeping them open, although Heritage Collectibles is now Heritage Collectibles, Books & Maps as I’ve combined those two businesses, and I’m opening Papa’s Thrift Shop for the inventory that doesn’t really work in the main store.  (Papa is what John’s grandchildren called him.)

All of the profits from those two businesses (after expenses, of course!) will go to support The Warrior Project.  If you are so inclined, please consider checking out our shops, knowing that your purchase will help fund this critically needed suicide prevention drop in center.

Posted in Death & Dying, Grief, Loneliness, Suicide | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

No Group Meeting Saturday, May 6

There will be no group meeting Saturday evening, May 6th as the facilitator has another commitment.  Hope to see you next week!

My apologies for any inconvenience or difficulties this may present.  If you are in immediate need of help or support, please remember that while we are not an emergency service we do understand the need to connect with someone.

The following supports are there for you.

Maine Crisis Hotline:
1-888-568-1112
National Suicide Prevention Hotline:
800-273-8255
Veterans Suicide Hotline:
800-273-8255
Domestic Violence Hotline:
800-799-7233

*****************************

For more information about The Warrior Project – soon to be a drop-in and counseling center for those affected by suicide and/or suicidal thoughts, please click on the picture or link, or go to https://warrior-project.org.

The Warrior Project will eventually become a warm, welcoming drop-in center for those living with extreme emotional and/or physical pain coupled with hopelessness, and a resource for families and friends fearing for the life of, or grieving the loss of, the person they love so much.

We are accepting blogs and articles written on topics relevant to suicide, hopelessness, grief, and similar topics.  Please contact Linda at LSnyder@regroupbiz.com or warriorprojectmaine@gmail.com.

*************************************

In memory of my beloved husband John Kelly Snyder… 20 Sept 1956 – 21 Oct 2016.

My Johnny was a true warrior, fighting demons no one else could see.  I thought he was the strongest man in the world, and perhaps he was, but tragically, the demons got the better of him.

The name of this project is in no way intended to be reflective of, or piggy back off, Wounded Warriors which serves those military personnel wounded after September 11, 20o1.  Like too many others, John was a warrior long before then.

Fair winds and following seas, Husband.

**************************************

We now have a group on Facebook to help find resources, support and ideas for getting The Warrior Project off the ground.  You can find us there at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thewarriorproject/

Follow us on Twitter!  @WarriorProjME.

**************************************

The Warrior Project is NOT an emergency program or service.

In the event of a crisis, please call 911

In the United States, other numbers to call include:
Maine Crisis Hotline:
1-888-568-1112
National Suicide Prevention Hotline:
800-273-8255
Veterans Suicide Hotline:
800-273-8255
Domestic Violence Hotline:
800-799-7233

*******************************

John and I owned both a small antiques shop and a used bookstore in Lewiston, Maine. After John died, I didn’t know what I wanted to do with the two shops – they take up a huge amount of time, and weren’t yet covering their own costs.  After John died in October of 2016, the shops were barely open during the critical holiday sales season; I couldn’t stand being in them because we had such dreams for the future.

But Johnny loved his little bookstore (Heritage Books, Maps & Ephemera) and the goal was that he would one day “retire” into running the two shops.  So I’ve committed to keeping them open, although Heritage Collectibles is now Heritage Collectibles, Books & Maps as I’ve combined those two businesses, and I’m opening Papa’s Thrift Shop for the inventory that doesn’t really work in the main store.  (Papa is what John’s grandchildren called him.)

All of the profits from those two businesses (after expenses, of course!) will go to support The Warrior Project.  If you are so inclined, please consider checking out our shops, knowing that your purchase will help fund this critically needed suicide prevention drop in center.

Posted in Death & Dying, Grief, Loneliness, Suicide | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Contracting for Safety i.e. a No Suicide Contract – Does It Work?

 

Back in the 1990s and earlier, “contracting for safety” was very common.   Someone would present as potentially suicidal and a mental health worker would gain either verbal or written agreement (a “no suicide contract”) that the person would not attempt to harm himself or herself, and would call a professional if the urge became too great to manage.

Supposedly that contract would create a promise that the suicidal individual wouldn’t want to break, because breaking promises is a bad thing, right?

I always thought that contracting for safety was ineffective at best, and perhaps even stupid or counter productive.  However, no one ever suicided in any immediate time frame after entering into such a contract with me or my co-workers, which was supposedly proof that they worked.

My suspicion was that those we were using the contract with (people with serious and persistent mental illness, who were so-called “revolving door” clients of the state’s mental health institutions) had the resources needed to ensure some level of safety despite the intensity of their mental illnesses.  The people who were actually attempting and/or succeeding seemed to be a very different demographic.

As for me, I’ve always said that if it ever came to that point, don’t bother trying to get me to agree to such a contract. First, I won’t make a promise if I don’t know if I can keep it… even one as simple as my supervisor at work asking, “Will you promise me you will get your payroll in on time?” (Rather than half an hour late which was often typical of me given my two full-time jobs, volunteering and other commitments.)

I told her that I would always do my best but would never make a promise I didn’t know if I could keep.  As it turns out, my payroll has been on time every single time in the ensuing months since that conversation, but I refused then and I would still refuse even now to “promise”.

Second, even if I did enter into such a promise (or any kind of promise) because I truly wanted to live up to the other person’s expectations, or alleviate his or her concerns or anxieties, there’s always the possibility of extenuating circumstances that would work to nullify that promise. And suicidality is – almost by definition – an extenuating circumstance.

The black cloud, the despair, the hopelessness… Under those circumstances it seems that a promise not to harm oneself – at least a promise to a mental health professional – would be rather unlikely to be enough to abort the overwhelming need to end the pain.

[A promise to a spouse, partner, child, parent… that may be different.  I will always wonder if had I known my husband was actively suicidal, and if I had said to him more forcefully and more often “You are not a burden. We will get through this.  I love you no matter what” if he would have made a different choice that fateful day.  Perhaps, but then again, his physical health was so compromised and his daily pain so great, that it was almost certainly just a matter of time anyway.  Devastatingly, I will never know.]

I’ve lived through some very harsh times… times I didn’t know how I would ever survive.  But I’ve never been actively suicidal, and I can’t believe I ever will be.  So perhaps my understanding of this is too limited.

Thoughts?

*****************************

For more information about The Warrior Project – soon to be a drop-in and counseling center for those affected by suicide and/or suicidal thoughts, please click on the picture or link, or go to https://warrior-project.org.

The Warrior Project will eventually become a warm, welcoming drop-in center for those living with extreme emotional and/or physical pain coupled with hopelessness, and a resource for families and friends fearing for the life of, or grieving the loss of, the person they love so much.

We are accepting blogs and articles written on topics relevant to suicide, hopelessness, grief, and similar topics.  Please contact Linda at LSnyder@regroupbiz.com or warriorprojectmaine@gmail.com.

*************************************

In memory of my beloved husband John Kelly Snyder… 20 Sept 1956 – 21 Oct 2016.

My Johnny was a true warrior, fighting demons no one else could see.  I thought he was the strongest man in the world, and perhaps he was, but tragically, the demons got the better of him.

The name of this project is in no way intended to be reflective of, or piggy back off, Wounded Warriors which serves those military personnel wounded after September 11, 20o1.  Like too many others, John was a warrior long before then.

Fair winds and following seas, Husband.

**************************************

We now have a group on Facebook to help find resources, support and ideas for getting The Warrior Project off the ground.  You can find us there at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thewarriorproject/

Follow us on Twitter!  @WarriorProjME.

**************************************

The Warrior Project is NOT an emergency program or service.

In the event of a crisis, please call 911

In the United States, other numbers to call include:
Maine Crisis Hotline:
1-888-568-1112
National Suicide Prevention Hotline:
800-273-8255
Veterans Suicide Hotline:
800-273-8255
Domestic Violence Hotline:
800-799-7233

*******************************

John and I owned both a small antiques shop and a used bookstore in Lewiston, Maine. After John died, I didn’t know what I wanted to do with the two shops – they take up a huge amount of time, and weren’t yet covering their own costs.  After John died in October of 2016, the shops were barely open during the critical holiday sales season; I couldn’t stand being in them because we had such dreams for the future.

But Johnny loved his little bookstore (Heritage Books, Maps & Ephemera) and the goal was that he would one day “retire” into running the two shops.  So I’ve committed to keeping them open, although Heritage Collectibles is now Heritage Collectibles, Books & Maps as I’ve combined those two businesses, and I’m opening Papa’s Thrift Shop for the inventory that doesn’t really work in the main store.  (Papa is what John’s grandchildren called him.)

All of the profits from those two businesses (after expenses, of course!) will go to support The Warrior Project.  If you are so inclined, please consider checking out our shops, knowing that your purchase will help fund this critically needed suicide prevention drop in center.

Posted in Death & Dying, Grief, Suicide | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Profits from Two Businesses to Help Fund The Warrior Project

 

John and I owned both a small antiques shop and a used bookstore in Lewiston, Maine. After John died, I didn’t know what I wanted to do with the two shops – they take up a huge amount of time (and I’m a full-time social worker), and weren’t yet covering their own costs.

After John died in October of 2016, the shops were barely open during the critical holiday sales season; I couldn’t bear being in them because he and I had been having such fun with them, and we’d had such dreams for the future of the businesses.

But Johnny loved his little bookstore (Heritage Books, Maps & Ephemera) and the goal was that he would one day “retire” into running the two shops.

It took me several months to decide what I’d do.  Close them entirely?  Move everything to our home?  Keep them going?  I didn’t know if I even cared anymore.

The old adage is not to make any major decisions for a year after a traumatic event such as the death of a loved one.  So even though I was now losing more money than I could afford to on those shops, I just slogged along and did what I could, when I could.

As time has marched on (despite my screaming desire to turn the clocks back to before the horrible day when my husband killed himself), I’ve decided that keeping those shops open is yet another of the many ways on my long list of how I can honor a man I loved more than I know how to say.

So I’ve committed to keeping them open, although Heritage Collectibles is now Heritage Collectibles, Books & Maps (189 Main Street, Lewiston) as I’ve combined those two businesses, and I’m opening Papa’s Thrift Shop (5 Park Street, Lewiston) for the inventory that doesn’t really work in the main store.  (Papa is what John’s grandchildren called him.)

All of the profits from those two businesses (after expenses, of course!) will go to support The Warrior Project.  If you are so inclined, please consider checking out our shops, knowing that your purchase will help fund this critically needed suicide prevention and counseling drop in center.

Thank you.

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For more information about The Warrior Project – soon to be a drop-in and counseling center for those affected by suicide and/or suicidal thoughts, please click on the picture or link, or go to https://warrior-project.org.

The Warrior Project will eventually become a warm, welcoming drop-in center for those living with extreme emotional and/or physical pain coupled with hopelessness, and a resource for families and friends fearing for the life of, or grieving the loss of, the person they love so much.

We are accepting blogs and articles written on topics relevant to suicide, hopelessness, grief, and similar topics.  Please contact Linda at LSnyder@regroupbiz.com or warriorprojectmaine@gmail.com.

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In memory of my beloved husband John Kelly Snyder… 20 Sept 1956 – 21 Oct 2016.

My Johnny was a true warrior, fighting demons no one else could see.  I thought he was the strongest man in the world, and perhaps he was, but tragically, the demons got the better of him.

The name of this project is in no way intended to be reflective of, or piggy back off, Wounded Warriors which serves those military personnel wounded after September 11, 20o1.  Like too many others, John was a warrior long before then.

Fair winds and following seas, Husband.

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We now have a group on Facebook to help find resources, support and ideas for getting The Warrior Project off the ground.  You can find us there at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thewarriorproject/

Follow us on Twitter!  @WarriorProjME.

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The Warrior Project is NOT an emergency program or service.

In the event of a crisis, please call 911

In the United States, other numbers to call include:
Maine Crisis Hotline:
1-888-568-1112
National Suicide Prevention Hotline:
800-273-8255
Veterans Suicide Hotline:
800-273-8255
Domestic Violence Hotline:
800-799-7233

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John and I owned both a small antiques shop and a used bookstore in Lewiston, Maine. After John died, I didn’t know what I wanted to do with the two shops – they take up a huge amount of time, and weren’t yet covering their own costs.  After John died in October of 2016, the shops were barely open during the critical holiday sales season; I couldn’t stand being in them because we had such dreams for the future.

But Johnny loved his little bookstore (Heritage Books, Maps & Ephemera) and the goal was that he would one day “retire” into running the two shops.  So I’ve committed to keeping them open, although Heritage Collectibles is now Heritage Collectibles, Books & Maps as I’ve combined those two businesses, and I’m opening Papa’s Thrift Shop for the inventory that doesn’t really work in the main store.  (Papa is what John’s grandchildren called him.)

All of the profits from those two businesses (after expenses, of course!) will go to support The Warrior Project.  If you are so inclined, please consider checking out our shops, knowing that your purchase will help fund this critically needed suicide prevention drop in center.

Posted in Heritage Collectibles Books & Maps, John K Snyder, Papa's Thrift Shop, Suicide, Warrior Project | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment