Quick Thoughts on the Case of Michelle Carter, Who At Age 17 Convinced Her 18 Year Old Boyfriend to Suicide

https://www.boston.com/news/local-news/2017/06/05/read-the-messages-at-the-heart-of-the-michelle-carter-suicide-by-text-manslaughter-trial

The link above is to the Boston.com article on the trial of Michelle Carter, who has waived a jury trial in a sad, tragic and ultimately horrific case of a 17 year old girl who convinced her 18 year old boyfriend to kill himself.

This is frightening… a teenage girl has no freaking clue how people will feel after a young man suicides. She also has no clue what a young man’s options are – now, or in the future. It doesn’t matter how depressed and hopeless he felt; he was only 18.

And she was just 17.

Children should never try to manage situations as serious as this on their own.

My husband was 60 years old and had been struggling for years. And he had lost his health (he was living with chronic pain so bad it made him nauseous and left him in tears at times, he had advanced emphysema, and he was heavily self-medicating with alcohol, among other problems). Further, he was convinced he had lung cancer, although that hadn’t yet been officially diagnosed despite nearly a year and a half of CT scans and other constant monitoring.

Even so, I would never have encouraged him to kill himself… Had I known he had active suicidal ideation I would have fought it with everything I had in me, just as I was fighting him for giving up on his other health issues.

And I would have continued fighting, at least until it was clear that he had no quality of life, had totally lost his dignity and that there were no other options. At that point I might have stopped fighting but I would never ever have encouraged him.

As far as her statements that his parents would understand and would be sad for a while but would move on…. holy crap.  There can be nothing on this earth worse than losing a child, unless it’s losing a child to suicide.

From a distance it’s hard to know what was going on in Carter’s mind as she repeatedly encouraged Roy to “do it”.  Did she really believe it was the right thing for him to do, or was she getting some kind of vicarious thrill out of pushing him so hard and having so much control over him?  Frankly, I fear it was the latter… she seemed so cool and composed during those texts.

This case is a nightmare.

 

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For more information about The Warrior Project – soon to be a drop-in and counseling center for those affected by suicide and/or suicidal thoughts, please click on the picture or link, or go to https://warrior-project.org.

The Warrior Project will eventually become a warm, welcoming drop-in center for those living with extreme emotional and/or physical pain coupled with hopelessness, and a resource for families and friends fearing for the life of, or grieving the loss of, the person they love so much.

We are accepting blogs and articles written on topics relevant to suicide, hopelessness, grief, and similar topics.  Please contact Linda at LSnyder@regroupbiz.com or warriorprojectmaine@gmail.com.

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In memory of my beloved husband John Kelly Snyder… 20 Sept 1956 – 21 Oct 2016.

My Johnny was a true warrior, fighting demons no one else could see.  I thought he was the strongest man in the world, and perhaps he was, but tragically, the demons got the better of him.

The name of this project is in no way intended to be reflective of, or piggy back off, Wounded Warriors which serves those military personnel wounded after September 11, 20o1.  Like too many others, John was a warrior long before then.

Fair winds and following seas, Husband.

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We now have a group on Facebook to help find resources, support and ideas for getting The Warrior Project off the ground.  You can find us there at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thewarriorproject/

Follow us on Twitter!  @WarriorProjME.

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The Warrior Project is NOT an emergency program or service.

In the event of a crisis, please call 911

In the United States, other numbers to call include:
Maine Crisis Hotline:
1-888-568-1112
National Suicide Prevention Hotline:
800-273-8255
Veterans Suicide Hotline:
800-273-8255
Domestic Violence Hotline:
800-799-7233

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John and I owned both a small antiques shop and a used bookstore in Lewiston, Maine. After John died, I didn’t know what I wanted to do with the two shops – they take up a huge amount of time, and weren’t yet covering their own costs.  After John died in October of 2016, the shops were barely open during the critical holiday sales season; I couldn’t stand being in them because we had such dreams for the future.

But Johnny loved his little bookstore (Heritage Books, Maps & Ephemera) and the goal was that he would one day “retire” into running the two shops.  So I’ve committed to keeping them open, although Heritage Collectibles is now Heritage Collectibles, Books & Maps as I’ve combined those two businesses, and I’m opening Papa’s Thrift Shop for the inventory that doesn’t really work in the main store.  (Papa is what John’s grandchildren called him.)

All of the profits from those two businesses (after expenses, of course!) will go to support The Warrior Project.  If you are so inclined, please consider checking out our shops, knowing that your purchase will help fund this critically needed suicide prevention drop in center.

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