Does It Hurt When Friends Call to Check In?


Just got a call from a friend who wanted to check in. She said that lots of our mutual friends are thinking of me, but are afraid to call or check in themselves, because they don’t want to upset me, if I’m doing okay.

Thank you all for trying to respect my grief… it’s true that if you call and I’m doing okay that the waves of pain will probably start again, and I’ll lose the little bit of peace I was feeling. And I will cry. Again, as I’ve done for hours every day for the past month.

But those waves of grief come on no matter what… and I have to work through them. I will not grieve the loss of my husband more because I’m reminded of him; this is a pain that I will carry for the rest of my life.

Tell me the good things that are going on with you; let me talk about this man I loved more than I can describe.

I may not seem like I’m listening, but I am, and appreciate your caring.


In memory of my beloved husband John Kelly Snyder… 20 Sept 1956 – 21 Oct 2016.

The Warrior Project is a warm, welcoming drop-in center for those living with extreme emotional and/or physical pain coupled with hopelessness, and a resource for families and friends fearing for the life of, or grieving the loss of, the person they love so much.

My Johnny was a true warrior, fighting demons no one else could see.  I thought he was the strongest man in the world, and perhaps he was, but tragically, the demons got the better of him.

The name of this project is in no way intended to be reflective of, or piggy back off, Wounded Warriors which serves those wounded after September 11, 20o1.  Like too many others, John was a warrior long before then.

Fair winds and following seas, Husband.

This entry was posted in Grief and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s