Yes, I’d Do It Again

I just read the saddest but one of the most beautiful expressions of love I’ve ever seen.  I don’t have permission to post it here so will offer a quick summary:

At barely 21 years old, this young soul’s husband shot himself to death in her arms as she begged him not to.  She has spent the past two decades dealing with the post-traumatic stress caused by this horrible, devastating incident.

Yet, she says she would do it all over again even if she knew how it would turn out.

The further away from my husband’s death I get, the more aware I am of the toll the pain, fear and denial of John’s hellish world were taking on me.  And the more aware I am of the daily nightmare he was living with, and how hard he worked to fight that pain and fear, to deny their existence and to keep anyone else from knowing how bad it was… even those times when we were angry with him for behaviors we didn’t understand, because he couldn’t explain them.

Her story moved me to tears, because it was also my story. And all I could think of in response was to write:

“Oh sweetie… I’ve said the same thing. My Johnny’s living hell made our lives difficult at times, but if he were to walk through that door right now, I’d do it all over again… even if I knew the outcome would be the same.

Songs of peace and healing to you.”

Songs of peace and healing to all of us.


In memory of my beloved husband John Kelly Snyder… 20 Sept 1956 – 21 Oct 2016.

My Johnny was a true warrior, fighting demons no one else could see.  I thought he was the strongest man in the world, and perhaps he was, but tragically, the demons got the better of him.

The name of this project is in no way intended to be reflective of, or piggy back off, Wounded Warriors which serves those military personnel wounded after September 11, 20o1.  Like too many others, John was a warrior long before then.

Fair winds and following seas, Husband.


We now have a group on Facebook to help find resources, support and ideas for getting The Grief Warrior Project off the ground.  You can find us there at

Follow us on Twitter!  @WarriorProjME.

Help support The Grief Warrior Project by making purchases from Heritage Collectibles, Books & Maps.  All profits (after expenses) go to helping us help others.  You can find Heritage Collectibles at, on Facebook (both a group and a page) and on Twitter (HeritageGifts).


Despite decades of disbelief, I have come to realize that our loved ones are able to communicate with us through the life/death barrier.  My Johnny has proved this in ways that I can’t attribute to my own mind making things up… there have been complex coincidences and synchronicities, extraordinary happenings, and messages through others who could not possibly have any knowledge of the information they’ve passed on.  Truly mind-blowing stuff.  I don’t have a clue what I believe about life after death, but I know my husband loved me with everything he had, and that he still does.  Our wedding vows were “to death and beyond” and that has proved true for both of us.

I can’t tell you how it all works, or how you can get through to your own loved one, but if you’re interested, I can tell you of my experiences and my thoughts on this.

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