I Don’t Have Much to Say

loneliness-without-you

There are so many little things I want to talk to my husband about. They’re meaningless to other people, or they’re inside jokes, or they’re the silly little things that are such a big part of an intimate relationship.

So talking to anyone else seems horribly difficult because my mind is full of the things I want to tell John.  I can’t think of much else to talk about except how much I miss him and how much it hurts.  I’m afraid that no one wants to listen anymore.  So after I describe his pain and his suicide – yet again – I don’t have much else to say.

I’ve become pretty quiet around others.

 

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In memory of my beloved husband John Kelly Snyder… 20 Sept 1956 – 21 Oct 2016.

The Warrior Project is a warm, welcoming drop-in center for those living with extreme emotional and/or physical pain coupled with hopelessness, and a resource for families and friends fearing for the life of, or grieving the loss of, the person they love so much.

My Johnny was a true warrior, fighting demons no one else could see.  I thought he was the strongest man in the world, and perhaps he was, but tragically, the demons got the better of him.

The name of this project is in no way intended to be reflective of, or piggy back off, Wounded Warriors which serves those wounded after September 11, 20o1.  Like too many others, John was a warrior long before then.

Fair winds and following seas, Husband.

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